This probably is not the up-beat kind of post that you want to read.....but it is very necessary that I write it....since I am "reflecting" on this site.
Tonight..I dragged out the well-worn Christmas tree...and it's decorations.
It was with such a heavy heart, that I almost put it away again....but one must keep up the appearances of being happy at this time of year.
Actually, this season was never a favourite of mine...and I have always been more than relieved to have it over with ..for many reasons.
This year will be probably the first year that I will not have my family together....one daughter away with her partner...one having recently moved to Bolivia...and the youngest, wanting to spend Christmas elsewhere for her own personal reasons. In any case...it makes me reflect on Christmases past....and the wonder through a child's eyes of this blessed season.
I remember well the excitement of getting the girls to bed and slowly and quietly putting the gifts from Santa under the tree. More about this process perhaps in another post.
It makes me feel akin to those who spend the season without the comforts of home....and love ones. Those who society has let slip through the cracks...and those who are laden with token gifts and thoughts....one day out of a long year.
In any case...the tree is up...the lights and decorations are on....but it will come down as soon as Christmas is over....as usual.
One bright spot was the annual placement of the nativity scene, on the mantle. A ceramic set that I made 31 years ago, when I was pregnant with my middle daughter. To think that that set has followed me from place to place....for so many years....through so much history....happiness.....sorrow.....through so so much....is a miracle in itself. It is showing the trauma of time....but then again....we all are. God Bless Us...every one.
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